четверг, 13 февраля 2020 г.

Ark of losers


                                                 
                                         Ark of losers


To Valery Sharonov

Sergey fineshed drink a glass wine cabernet with a pleasant bitterness  and got up from-from  the table. Coming up the marble steps of the staircase to the exit from the bar, he noticed a poster with the verses: “The skill to drink is not given to all, / The skill to drink is art, /  that is not smart who drinks wine / Without thought and without feeling... ”Verses stait in his mechanical memory, but did not warm his the Slavic heart. The passing day was marred by an unsuccessful meeting with Eugenia, a pretty worker of one of the Odessa garment factories.
Sargay came to the City Garden to the place of the appointed meeting ahead of time and has become made plans for the upcoming evening. He didn’t want to go to the cinema, and he decided to offer the girl a ship trip along the sea coast.
Eugeniy appeared unexpectedly from a  side alley, and tell smiling guiltily:
- Hi, I'm not late?
She was wearing a white wool sweater, a green skirt and bright red high-heeled shoes. Their color, it seemed to him, was not in harmony with the color of the rest of her clothes. He dont would need focus on this attention,  nothing do not speek, but his provincial ignorance so climbing out of him.
- This is very such a bad taste! - He said, pointing to the red shoes.
Eugeniy's face covering with a blush, she took a quick and confused looked at her fashionable shoes, for which she laid out almost half of her salary, then at Sergey.
- Why are you so Seryozha? She asked. And, without receiving a sensible answer, she abruptly turned around and left, accelerating her step towards the street of Havanay.
Only after that it dawned on Sergey that he had offended the girl. He wanted  to rush after her, but he did not budge. He having guessed that his belated repentance would only increase her dislike for him. Feeling annoyed and angry with himself for his tactlessness, he passed the rotunda, the fountain, in which has not be water, the of monumen  bronze lions, green from the patina, which proudly, royally, holded theirs selfe heads, went out into Deribasovskaya Street. And, not inventing anything better, he go to "Oksamit of Ukraine".

When he went down to the tasting room, where only Ukrainian-made wines were served, it was still light.  Now already purple dusk is hanging over the city. The yellowish light of electric lampions barely penetrating through the thick leaves of chestnuts. On the opposite side of the street, a glass case of the Lakomka confectionary was burning gold, to  resembling an illuminated aquarium. And there, behind the glass, silently moving his lips, like fish, lovers of sweets crowded.
Watching the life of the evening city, the young man smoked a cigarette, and him do not very wanted go to the port hostel, where he was registered and lived. He never do not a hurried return in this shelter of Soviet lumpens, which not much differented from others such like him. And when after the shift somebody of his colleagues asked: “Where are you going?” He always answered:
-   In the nigh bad hostel..
He leisurely went into Pushkinskay street. Huge plane trees swayed in the wind, and crackling, freeding from last year’s dry bark. He liked to walk alone in the evening streets, listening to the mysterious rustling of autumn foliage over his head. But today was not the case. The current spat with Zhenya did not give him rest. He thought about how he would better justify himself in front of a girl for this his truly wild deed, but would she accept his apologies?
"Needed to be  to him these shoes!" - thinked Sergey.
And suddenly, tired of this Samoyed, he exclaimed:
- And what is my fault? Red with green - isn't this vulgar?! - He said it so loudly that rare passersby looked around at him.
He walked along the evening street, stooping pulling shoulders and bowined his head, remembering verses Ivan Bunin’s verse complete big yearning:
The beast has a hole, the bird has a nest,
As the heart beats, woefully and loudly,
When I enter, being baptized, in a stranger, rented house
With my old travel bag 
“In fact,” he thought, “is it possible to call a hostel a home in the usual sense of the word? No, this is, indeed, a doss-house, a place to rest the body, worn out by overwork in the port, than for the soul. ”
Even the life in the hostel was arranged accordingly. Three to four people lived in the rooms, each had a metall bed, a bedside table, and a wardrobe that was common to all. The washbasin and the public toilet were in a long “P” -shaped corridor, and the shower was downstairs on the first floor. The only place for rest was the library and a small reading room where you could read a book, look through magazines and newspapers.
All this fit perfectly, as it seemed to him, into the social doctrine of the state, which failed to provide its citizens with normal housing, but was in dire need of cheap labor. As a result, several “generations of the homeless” have grown up in the country, nestling in barracks, communal apartments, bachelor and family dormitories. “My address is not a house or a street, my address is the Soviet Union!” - this simple song, which the central radio stations constantly played, could become an anthem of these people.
So Sergey, who served two years in the army and went to work at the port, was provided with a bed in a dormitory. That was the name of what was officially considered his housing. In his youth, he perceived such a lifestyle as a given of a temporary nature. For the present, he still did not perceive as life itself, but only as its vestibule. The young man hoped that the "curve" of his fate somewhere yes will take out. Although he did not have a definite goal, he did not know what he would do in the near future. Chaos reigned in his head, which had to be somehow streamlined, systematized. But he was not ready for this yet.
In the summer he spent his free time from work at sea. In the evenings I went to the “Lights of the Lighthouse” dance floor in Shevchenko Park, nicknamed by young people “Maidan”, in the winter he visited the Palace of Sailors or other places where young people of a certain future gathered at dance parties like him.
At one of them, he met Eugene. The girl stood alone, with a sad expression on her face, already losing or losing hope that someone would invite her to dance. And Sergey approached her.
Dancing a slow tango, he felt her narrow, almost childish palm sweat in his hand. But he did not show that he noticed this clear sign of excitement. After the dance he gallantly took the girl by the elbow, led her to the place where she stood before. Then they danced together again and again. And so by itself it turned out that Sergei went to escort Zhenya home ...
Turning onto Zhukovsky Street and crossing Novikov Bridge, he found himself at the house where his friend Sharik, a librarian of the port dormitory, lived. And he remembered how they met. It happened on one of the ugly slushy days either at the end of autumn or at the beginning of winter. With nothing to do, Sergei went to the library. Sharik, officially Valery Pavlovich, having seen him for the first time in his “possessions”, looked at him with undisguised interest — it was not often the case of young movers who looked into the library. Then, asking what he would like to read, filled out the form, and then gently invited to a lecture on modern painting.
“An interesting person will read the lecture, artist Oleg Sokolov,” he continued, trying to captivate the young man with at least something. - It will be about color music, I think you will like it.
Sharik was a slender young man of eastern appearance with dark eyes and a carelessly ironic smile on his thin lips. However, everything he had was thin and fragile - both his face and his hands with elegant almost female fingers, which did not know hard physical labor. And he thought and spoke not like the inhabitants of the hostel. By the definition of a young man, Sharik was a typical flimsy intellectual, who by chance came to the port movers on Wednesday.
Later, when they became friends, Valery pleasantly surprised Sergey with his erudition and a wide range of interests. He knew modern foreign literature well, understood the fine arts, could easily reason about existentialism or the “stream of consciousness” of Joyce and Marcel Proust, quote Jean-Paul Sartre, Camus and Kafka.
Everything he talked about was new to Sergei. The evening school, which he graduated about three years ago, then military service, and now the work of a porter in the port did not giving have intellectual development. And the young man unwittingly reached out to his new acquaintance - not only as a  one towards an older age, but as less educated towards a more well-read and knowledgeable one. From Sharik, he learned about the work of the Impressionists and post-expressionists - during the Khrushchev "thaw" and after it they captured the minds of young people interested in art. And “Absinthe lovers” by Pablo Picasso became even the heroine of one of his poems, just as naive as he was.
Prior to serving in the army and during his service, Sergey to write a poem like an avid graphomaniac, little understanding of the subtleties of poetics and language. Therefore, naturally, he was thinking about further study. And now it did not seem to him as unrealizable as before. Valery, as a part-time student of the philological faculty, served him as the best example.
- Why don't we publish a magazine? - Sharik asked Sergey somehow. - I came up with the name "Word". - And looked at the young man with his cautious and at the same time inquisitive eyes. His deep-set eyes were dull and glowing like two coffee beans. - We be have will publish the literary experiences of port workers. - he continued after a short pause.
Sergey, who naverе did not see his poems published in a press, accepted this idea with enthusiasm. The idea was supported by almost all the youth from their small company. Especially since editing the manuscripts, filling out a journal by hand, Sharik  taken on  , and Vovka Khabarovsky, who worked as a loader on the second port are, take on  himself took the his  illustrate .
To discuss the content of the next issue of the magazin was going to the library. Special disagreements never occurred. And the last verdict was always handed down by the “chief editor”, in the role of which Sharik acted.
From time to time, to him goin Genka Petrov, a man of strong stature with a broad, round face of a Vladimir muzhik, always looked down at the "light" at times. He woreing a denim suit, and with a short hairstyle “a la Kennedy”, for which he received from of the guys the nickname “Russian American”. Genka loved to play table tennis and do weightlifting, aggressively and with enviable tenacity rocked his muscles.
- Yours are well, but Verka is better! - repeatedly repeating Petrov, and suddenly left the company, going to a meeting with his passion. And this his aphorism “about Verka” was presented in one of the numbers of the Lay, as an example of port folklore.
I live that way. I that can shoulder
For a short period of time, several books of the magazine in a blue calico cover saw the light, in which In one way or another, the work of the inhabitants of the hostel was reflected. There was and Sergey's verses: I so  live. Verses will come -
I will to learn words.
I believe the hardness of the hand!
Look: on the whiteness of the leaf,
Like a bird's footprint, are the words.
And how much
 labor was worth,
You will guess hardly, -
he argued arrogantly.
However, few of the authors of the magazine guessed that this innocent samizdat was nothing more than a personal protest of an intellectual and an intellectual, like Valery, against the oppressive officialdom that permeated all aspects of life.
Sergey sometimes came to Valery’s home on Zhukovskaya strit. The young man was pleased even to be home for a while. The owner showed enough hospitality, gave him a look at rare art albums and magazines, treated him with strong liqueurs, read his essays and stories.
Tired of "intellectual" classes, they played with tin soldiers to play with the son of Valery, Stas. The game quickly bored the boy, and he went into another room. And adults continued to build toy troops, allowed cavalry to gallop, sent armored vehicles to the enemy’s flanks. Inspired by children's play and meaningless conversations, they didn’t imagine that, just like they and the soldiers, Providence comes with them, moving life along the checkered black and white board, without asking their consent.
Drinking was one of the entertainments of their friendly company, which included the Cat, Shchults, Kosoy and he, Maly - that was the name of Sergey for his small stature and young age. When he had free time, Sharik joined them. Having gathered together, they made trips to wine cellars - there were then in Odessa the so-called “big circle” and “small circle” of pubs, where dry and fortified wines were sold on tap. This has become a tradition that has been faithfully followed by more than one generation of southerners - connoisseurs of the sunny drink.
The route was familiar. It began with the "New Market" and ended with "Privoz" or vice versa. During such “voyages”, young people alternately looked into “Aist”, then “Oksamit of Ukraine”, then “Two Karla”, and other wine cellars. There, slowly, savoring, drank aligote, Riesling or cabernet. Sometimes, for a change, mixed dry wine with port wine. So behind empty, but cheerful conversations, they whiled away the time, not knowing the price and not feeling his transience.
The relations of the hostel inhabitants with women were peculiar. Inside the building as a monastery they were allowed rarely. Therefore, they waited for their beloved men either at the entrance to the hostel or on the opposite side of the street. And then the lovers went to the park, on the seaside slopes. There, in the open air, to the rhythm of the sea surf, they conceived the offspring, which, most likely, awaited the unenviable fate of their parents.
Many of the crew of this five-deck "ark of losers" married the city dwellers. But not everyone was able to settle down in a strange family. Divorces happened no less than weddings. The most "wise" of the port workers came very prudently: having married, shared shelter, bed and table with women, but did not check out from the hostel and did not refuse their bed. That is, they left a path for departure just in case. Independence, individual freedom valued above all!
Sergei did not like it when the girls met him at the port entrance or waited at the entrance to the hostel. He considered it humiliating for himself and for them. Therefore, I dated in the neutral territory - either in the same City Garden, or at the cinema, if I was to go to the cinema. Even having entered into an intimate relationship with Zhenya, he did not allow her to follow him.
Sergei did not like it when the girls met him at the in port entrance or waited at the entrance to the hostel. He considered it humiliating for himself and for them. Therefore, I dated in the neutral territory - either in the same City Garden, or at the cinema, if I was to go to the cinema. Even having entered into an intimate relationship with Zhenya, he did not allow her to follow him. It happened on the lawn of one of the maple groves on the beach. The girl, yielding to the persistence of a young man, did not respond to his caresses. She looking with some strange absent glance at the whitish summer sky, probably regretting that she gave herself to him so quickly, in the wrong place and not in the way she imagined it ...
Here he was already at the "sverdlovka", urban mental hospital. And he remembered the veteran of the port who survived the mind and the patriarch of the Zhdanov hostel. The lonely, crazy old man wandered through the corridors for days, and, getting lost, repeated aloud: “Where am I going? Where am I going?"And, resting in the pier, he returned. And again I walked, it is not known where. When meeting with him, Sergei always spoiled his mood, and a banal idea about the frailty of human existence appeared.
Sergey passied the former Sobansky barracks, went out onto Marazlievskaya Street, deserted at that hour. On the left a dark park with a dynamic monument to Taras Shevchenko was stretching. Looking at him powerful figure, the young man startled: it seemed to him that the metal Kobzar, as if revived, made to a stap lunge forward, as if trying to step off the pedestal on which he had been raised. "Why not? - thought the young man.
"Why not? - thought the young man. “Maybe the and monuments elso are not always satisfied with their lot ...” This strange vision acted on his as a cold shower, dispelling a long and heavy nap. And in his head began to ripen a plan for further action  Climbing the stairs to his room, Sergey already knew that he would leave the port and leave this strange house forever, within the walls of which  perished  many  dreams.
 A. M.



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